Monday, June 25, 2012

I've met the Craigslist Killer

One of the strangest things about being a young musician is having your friends placed around the country/world. From music school classmates to participants from various programs, my friends are more scattered than the feathers from a 80's sleepover pillow-fight montage. This fact mixed with wedding season (for those of you who aren't terrified of commitment) means a lot of summer travel.

As I gear up to go to the wonderful weddings of my gorgeous old room mate and my old card buddy*, I find myself looking for a kind soul willing to give shelter to my pathetic creature. After exhausting all of my regular resources (like friends), I, like most normal people, turned to craigslist. Imagine my joy and wonderment when I found someone willing to watch Maude (and change her diapers) for all ten days for only $150! Too bad they live two hours away from me. I went to the second best deal, someone in Raleigh for slightly more. Maude and I agreed to go and meet this woman and tour her facility, to be sure it was of the upmost quality. I should have known...

Upon our arrival we saw the scariest shock collars known to man. Not like little "buzz" shock collars, but more like "I'm gonna mess you up of you ever even think about barkin again you stupid dog, cuz I'm a scary gangsta shock colla. Holla". Her dogs all had them on. Yikes. Next we looked in the backyard. It is still puzzling why someone who watches dogs would keep a cactus garden. The real terror came when we went into the kitchen. There, sitting next to the doggie treats was a huge hand pistol. I have no way of knowing for sure, but I'm pretty sure the serial number was scratched off. And the safety was off. And the trigger was cocked. This might be an exaggeration.

Needless to say Maude and I made our excuses and headed home. This has taught us two things: 1.) Be careful of craigslist, because you never know when you're going to meet a lady who has a gun pointing at you adjacent to beggin strips. 2.) Raleigh is a scary place.

*I sound like an awesome old man drinking Budweiser when I say "card buddy". Although I wish it were true, what I really mean is not beer and poker but "Dutch Bliss",the mennonite card game we used to play in college before church. Boom. Awesome. Blitz!

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