How can I be a sociopath with Ingrid Michaelson around?

I'm pretty sure Ingrid Michaelson has a song for every occasion. Sometimes I listen to her songs and idly sing along, and then sometimes I need a good jam and remember the songs I've been singing since my senior year of high school. Thank you Ingrid Michaelson. It's like you looked into my future and wrote a song for every event in my life. But then I think, that's pretty creepy. In fact- that's super cray. I mean- did you contact a psychic and decide what my thoughts and feelings would be for my first kiss, first pet adoption, even songs for moving? AM I BEING PSYCHICALLY STALKED BY A B LIST INDIE MUSICIAN? DO I NEED A RESTRAINING ORDER FROM YOU, INGRID?  Although, I doubt you can get a restraining order from someone hypothetically writing songs about you... it's something to look into.

I'm currently planning another trip to San Francisco to sing this weekend, and listening to "Far Away". I'm super excited for this trip/move/new adventure. See- Ingrid must have known that when she wrote it. She knew I was going to be moving from one side of the country to the other, and decided to write a song to commemorate it!

Oh yeah, you're probably wondering where the sociopath label fits in, aren't you?

After a long conversation with MegRo yesterday, she became increasingly concerned by my lack of concern for recent events in my life.* You'd think that your best friend would enjoy laughing on the phone with you for an hour or so, but mine laughed at my jokes while questioning my sanity. So much so that she googled an online test for sociopaths, took it (answering as she assumed I would answer), and after taking all 10 questions** she came to the conclusion that I was a potential sociopath. Rude.

I mean, I might be emotionally dead inside- but I definitely didn't kill kittens when I was a child. (Although I did let my canary Elton John*** die, but I swear that was an accident). I find it pretty impossible to go throwing around terms and labels, when I listen to Ingrid Michaelson. The way I see it, I don't need to express my feelings when she has already done it for me. Duh.

Besides, shouldn't we worry about MegRo's sanity? She's the one that filled out the test....******


*See prior blogpost, it's kind of a doozy

** Yes, it apparently only takes 10 multiple choice questions to make you worthy for an episode of Criminal Minds.

***Of course that was his name. What else do you name a yellow singing bird who's favorite thing in life was his 70's flowered mirror? I'm apparently constantly attracted to gay men. ****

****Of course I'm talking about RY***** here, as he always thinks my blog is about him anyways... who were you thinking of?

*****As I type this latest installment I am gchatting with RY. He is baking brownies and completely failing. So far he put in 1 1/2 times the amount of oil it said, and decided he could override the excess by putting some brown sugar in it, where he discovered a lump of bread in the brown sugar. This is of course going to end in disaster- maybe we can convince him to spend his day off writing a guest blog? He is one of the funniest men in the world and so pretty!!!

******She'd kill me if I left that unresolved. MegRo is not a sociopath, or a killer, or anything bad. If I had to describe her in images it would be a rabble of butterflies floating past good ol'ROY G. BIV*******

*******Yes, I still say ROY G BIV even though scientists have recently refused to recognize indigo. I refuse to let the man loose the vowel in his last name. ROY G BV is just silly and sounds like a tacky, uneducated, backwoods trucker (and nothing good comes from truckers- do you watch tv?). I don't want MegRo's butterflies to fly past that, it would ruin everything!!!