First and foremost, thank you for all of the wonderful birthday presents/texts/songs/and statements. Here are a few of my favorites in each category...
Sung Voicemails:
1).
(To the tune of "Call Me Maybe")
Hey Molly its Jill. And it is Sunday. And I am calling, to say Happy Birthday! I know you're 25, but don't you worry. It's a good age, so Happy Birthday!
2).
Well here's a cheerful little ditty for you birthday:
Happy Birthday. Uh. Happy Birthday. Uh. People dying everywhere, misery and dark despair but Happy Birthday. Uh.
And many happy returns.
Spoken Voicemails:
1).
Hey buttface I was just calling to say Happy Birthday. So, Happy Birthday.
2).
Well I hope you have had a great birthday, if you chose to celebrate it. Because sometimes you like to pretend it didn't happen. If we are pretending, then ignore this message.
Texts:
1.)
You did it! You were birthed, way to go.
2).
I'm texting you to say Happy Birthday even if you aren't celebrating again this year. Because not celebrating is dumb. I don't mean you're dumb, just some of the things you do and think. Hope this made your day a bit brighter.
What great friends and family I have! I love/hate how my friends like to recognize that I don't like celebrating birthdays by calling me to talk about it.* The only thing missing was my annual text from Wham Bam with my face in a plate of bacon.**
There were a few not so great things about my birthday. Like how we left our first establishment and Sister had blood on her shirt that was definitely not hers.**** Or how some moron fell on the dance floor and got his adult beverage in my eye. Or how I got ridiculous flowers from some idiot I dated a few months back.*****
No matter though, my birthday was truly spectacular- I even got to see RY and his fabulous AY! Everything was going swimmingly until the next day when Sister killed Maude.This post has gotten a bit long though... I'll have write that story in the next installment!
*Not that I've ever been accused of being too dramatic, but I think my life ended after my 21st birthday. After all who was it that said "You're almost 16, you become 21, you turn 30, you push 40, you reach 50, you make it to 60". Aging is awful and I want no part in it. I've decided to stay 21 forever.
**He used to text it to me every birthday. I didn't get it this year and a piece of me died. (But a significantly smaller piece than the piece of me that dies seeing a picture of myself asleep in an IHOP booth at 3 am with my face in a plate of bacon)***
***Don't judge the things that happen after a long night of karaoke!
****Guh-ross. I don't know that we'll ever know who's blood it is. I do know that she is surprisingly adept at getting blood out of her shirt in a bathroom. Makes you wonder how many bar fights she's been in!
*****I guess when I said "Never contact me again", I must have added in, "Unless it's to send me flowers on my birthday". I've gotta stop doing that!******
****** Seriously though, the card was signed "Star crossed love". I mean, it has been awhile since I read R&J, but I'm pretty sure they weren't together because of circumstances out of their control- not because one of them was married and the other one found out and peace'd out asap. Should I brush up on my Billy Shakespeare before I head back to school?
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