Hidden away in a corner covered with trees in the Kroger parking lot near my house is a Souper! Salad* that nobody knows about. Or maybe some people know about it. I just stumbled into this delicious buffet and thought it was a secret. This Sunday I was too lazy to put real clothes after a long day of cleaning, so I threw on my favorite workout shorts (the ones with the built-in underwear**) and a t-shirt to run to the grocery store. It was then that I saw the fated Souper! Salad, filled to the brim with beautiful young men all in work out clothes like me! (Let's just disregard the fact that they were in workout clothes because they had just come from the 20 mile trail that ends right in the Souper! Salad's parking lot).
I should point out my love of salad bars. Yes, the food has been sitting there for hours. Yes, there are always way too many olives and not enough tomatoes. Yes, the bread is stale, the pepperoni is warm and the soup has scary objects in it. Yes, yes, yes. You can say whatever you want about them, but I love them. Maybe I love that I can make whatever I want without the prep work- cutting vegetables is boring, yo. Maybe I like that I can try something, decide I don't like it, get a new plate and try something else. Maybe they remind me a little bit of college and that fabulous awkward freshmen year cafeteria. (Which at my performing arts college was always a little too reminiscent of FAME. I mean, do we have to break out into song at every moment? Do you really need to practice that dance lift in line for the taco bar? Do you really need to eat a taco just so you can barf it up later?) Whatever the reason(s), I love a good/bad/decent salad bar.
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There's a lot more to this story, but I'm going to have to leave it as a cliffhanger. I'm too distracted by the battery warning on my computer. I'm pretty sure my computer is a woman, and she is most definitely surfing the red wave right now.*** One second she tells me that I have 55 minutes left to dilly-dally on the interwebs, the next I have three hours. This shouldn't be a big deal, but it is so distracting I find myself staring at the darn icon waiting to see what she will do next.
You think tv is interesting? You enjoy going out and spending time with friends? You like taking your dog to the park? That's cool, I don't judge. I like sitting and staring with utter fascination at my computer screen and waiting for the battery light to change.****
*Any place bold enough to put an exclamation point in the middle of their name must be amazing. This is common sense.
**If you don't have a pair of these- buy them now. They save time and effort; Save space in the laundry, they're uber comfortable, and it's half the hassle of real underwear. I wish all of my pants had built in underwear. And skirts, and dresses. Life would be so much simpler.
***Yea, I said that. If I am going to assign gender to random inanimate objects then I get to decide when they are on the rag.
****Oh goodness, I need more grad auditions to keep me occupied. I don't know what to do with my time now that I am free from the noose of auditions.*****
*****Yes I do. I have three new pieces to learn for a concert this Saturday. I should be learning music. My bad.
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