Nope, I didn't die. (But you probably already knew that). Here's a big shout out to RY and Holly, and the other 6 people who read my blog. I'm sorry to have disappointed you for the past year and a half, but to be fair, we all knew it would happen.* I have had a zillion ridiculous adventures since moving to SF, but something happened last night that I felt the urge to share en masse.
Having zero plans and low funds, my friends and I decided to attend a free show by a local improv class. (We had the same low expectations for the show as you have reading this post). Little did we know before arriving that the basis of the show was messed up relationships, they randomly chose one member of the audience to share their last bad experience and then acted the whole thing out. Predictably enough, I was the unfortunate audience member chosen.***
I was called up to stage to be interviewed, but before they asked any questions about the story, they asked about me. Upon hearing that I was an opera singer, the interviewer began to trivialize my work and education. (Yes, the community improv performer was making fun of what I do). He was shocked that I didn't just go around and "opera" all the time and asked what I did all day, which I futilely attempted to explain. Finally he said, "And you like, are a performer?", to which I foolishly joked, "Of course, it's like what you do, but harder".**** BIG FREAKING MISTAKE.
Apparently improv folks don't like you joking, because that is their job. What followed was the world's most awkward show which consisted of half the troupe acting out my embarrassing dating past, and the other half acting out variations of me insulting them. Great. Sitting in the audience my cheeks got redder and redder, and not because it was hot or I'd had one too many. I would have apologized, but that was before they made fun of my hat, my vest, and my career. It was sort of like that dream where you are really embarrassed in front of a large group of people, but then you wake up and get some coffee and everything is better. Only I didn't get to wake up and there wasn't any coffee, so I guess it wasn't anything like that dream.
Mercifully enough, the show finally ended and little damage was done. I was able to walk away with very few people knowing what happened. And then I typed it up and put it on the internet. Whoops.
*Just to clarify: The way that I disappointed them was through not writing any blog posts, not by something else disappointing like dating someone they wouldn't approve of**, or robbing a mini-mall.
**Although Holly did meet the person I'm currently dating, and I'm not sure if she approves or not.
***If you are caught up on my dating life, me getting chosen makes complete sense. For those of you who are unfamiliar, picking me to talk about bad relationships was like picking Emeril to discuss recipes...
****Comedians: Before you get mad, you should know that I auditioned for the improv troupe in high school and didn't get in. Maybe if I had I would have developed a whole different set of interests. As it is, I am a singer who respects good comedy and good comedians. Don't get huffy.
