"When you don't blog,
i ask myself "is her life reduced to utter boringness, such that she
doesn't have anything to share, or is she just too busy for her fans, as
she will be once she hits the big time?"
I usually choose the later, because I have all of the faith that cray
cray stuff still happens, even when there is no one in the forest to
hear the tree fall".
Well put RY. It does happen, a lot of it. Sometimes there just isn't enough time to write down all of the crazy shtuff that happens in my life. Sometimes there aren't words to describe certain life events. And sometimes I am trying to reduce my online presence due to an online stalker. And sometimes I exaggerate. (But rarely, so very rarely).
I have every intention of writing how Kho walked in to find me squatting over Sister's face and rolling her back and forth on a foam noodle while singing Coldplay, but that's tomorrow's little gem. Today I plan on giving you, fair reader*, 3 snippets and vignettes to update the past few days.
1. The conversation between myself and That Woman
Me: My voice teacher wants me to learn Carmen. I don't know that I can do it. I don't know that I can be seductive.
TW: Of course you can.
Me: I mean, I know I can be seductive, I'm just not sure if I can do it on stage. Oh crap, I just said that to my mother.
This was followed by a conversation about Doris Day singing "Bushel and a Peck", after which I had to hang up. I mean, there were just so many "Bushel and a Peck" jokes I was dying to make- and couldn't see myself making them to my mother! I can't make them on here either, since she reads this blog. Somebody please call me and bring up this song so I can share the slew of jokes I've conjured!
2. The hour and a half conversation I had with my bank customer service rep.*** During this phone call I learned the etymology of his name, how he thought he was Elvis in his former life, and how his dream is to work at Graceland- because he thinks that the Elvis inside him wants to return home. This phone call was only cut short because his supervisor got on the line and asked if I needed any further assistance. Did I need any further assistance? YES!!! I needed another hour to talk to this man and learn all of his fascinating crazy. Unfortunately, the call ended. (But now I can say that I met Elvis, which is pretty darn cool!)
3. My last concert as a teacher has become increasingly ridiculous due to my own whims. It started by assigning a class of fourth grade scholars a yodeling song. (In the name of world music, of course). It continued when I added instruments to the choir's song. (A washboard, musical spoons, a train whistle, slide whistles, and kazoos****). Now the concert will be further enhanced by the final song sung by all scholars. They are performing a piece by the one and only... Sandi Patty. Complete with sign language. Somebody stop me before I hurt myself. Or them.
Anywho, it's getting late and I have a big day of yodeling and washboarding to do, so I will see you all tomorrow for my own made for TLC rehab***** story. Get pumped.
*I say "fair reader" to presume you are fair as in impartial, not fair as in beautiful. I assume you are in fact partial, or you wouldn't be reading my blog. I can't, however assume you are beautiful. You could be rather homely and still be reading my blog. Or James Blunt could have written a song about you. I don't know and I don't really care**. You all have inner beauty, blah, blah, blah.
**I would care if James Blunt wrote a song about you. I really detest James Blunt.
***Due to the supposed fraudulent activity on my credit card. It wasn't fraudulent activity. It was spur of the moment online shopping in the middle of the night after watching too many infomercials. I feel slightly judged by Wells Fargo.
****I've said it before, the kazoo is my favorite instrument. Fun, silly, easy to play. All children and adults should on a kazoo.
*****Rehab as in for a back injury. How dare you think anything else!
